There they are, the poets best at boot-licking

By Ouyang Qian, 22 Feb 2020

Notes of the translator: this is a difficult piece and therefore the translation is done in a most literal way. The orginal article has been removed and here is a saved version.

Whenever there is a major disaster hitting, there will always be some poets who will show up and write something to praise it. This has almost become a tradition, so there is no exception during the epidemic of this year.

There first came the poem, Thank you, Mr Corona. It is such a piece of compliments, and hence starts the record of boot-licking in 2020.

I need to thank you, Mr Corona, who make me see a kind of sweet dew – the strength of unity
I need to thank you, Mr Corona, who make me see a kind of sweet dew – courageous marching forward
I need to thank you, Mr. Corona, who make me see a kind of sweet dew – the persistence of white-clothed angels¹
I need to thank you, Mr. Corona, who make me see a kind of sweet dew – the eternal kindness of people
I need to thank you, Mr. Corona, who make me see a kind of sweet dew – how difficulties are overcome

Soon some officials from the local system for ‘political and legal affairs’ wrote an even more impressive one, which praised so hard the local officials of higher rank: “the blood in the eyes of the county magistrate / is to weave into the blossoms that greet the new spring / … / This scene could make a grindstone tearing and wind in the woods overwhelmed”.

When the epidemic hits
The Party members therefore hold high in their hearts the party banner
They connects [the sound of] modern louder-speakers with old gongs
Into a scenery of the affected area
‘Blending’ therefore becomes a ‘name-card’ of the area
and makes something as wonderful as the six movement of the Beethoven Symphonies

Please allow your eyes to follow our camera [to the officials]
They lead the white-clothed angels and dark-blue brigade²
They lead the team to save the patients and guard safety
They march in front of the time passing by
They march in the inculcation from the Party to the public servents

Look at the blood in the eyes of the Party secretary and magistrate of the county
It is to weave into the blossoms that greets the new spring
Look at the dark pouches under the eyes of the party members and officials of the community
They make the cloud above the Dabie mountain enchanted
And make a grindstone tearing and wind in the woods overwhelmed

If you have been amazed by such a piece, you must have under-estimated those spineless poets. When they uplift their buttocks to crawl in the dust, they make maggots out of job. Mr. Yu Zhonghua, member of the Association of Chinese Writers, is yet to make another piece called Long Live the Sun of My Heart, which will renew your three views³.

Long live the Sun of My Heart
To the great Communist Party of China

The poem is very long and the below is just a selected part of it.

In the spring of 2020
An epidemic broke out on our sacred land
More difficulties make a nation great in history
The cloud could not shed the sun forever
The sun is the pioneer of the nation –
The great Communist Party of China
Ah, the wise Party
You make the god of plague stop
You make the Cathay roaring
You make the star of misfortune disappear
You make the world amazed

Look at each single order of yours
‘Avoid gathering people’
Many enterprises, despite of huge loss
Stop production immediately
‘Guarantee emergency supplies’
Many people, though on their holidays
Work around the clock to ensure the production
To stop spreading the virus
Many quarantine themselves willingly at home
When trouble occurs at one spot, help comes from all quarters
Many oversea Chinese
Make generous donations

I would like to ask the universe
Who could possess such a capacity?
Who could care more about the people?
Who could enforce orders so strictly?
Who could make 1.4 billion people
connected in their hearts?
Ah, our great Party
Your decisions are
correct and wise
Your strategies are
scientific and practical
You lead the brave and loyal people
Your orders are followed nationwide

I have never cried while reading a poem, yet this one makes me cry. I have never read such a wonderful piece for boot-licking. I’m truly moved. I realised that a poet could reach a place like this.

What writers could have such capacity to depict a disaster into such a moving scene, a life-taking epidemic into such a beautiful play? This is not a comedy made from a tragedy, it’s truly a celebratory event! Let’s look back at the first two poems. They are so trivial compared to this one of Zhonghua.

Yu Zhonghua is a member of the Chinese Society of Proses, and the Society of Chinese Writers. He was once on the standing committee of a county, county magistrate, Party secretary of a county, deputy mayor, and deputy head of the congress of Linyi (a municipality of Shandong Province). He once published a book called It requires techniques to be an official. Through this poem, I can truly see that being an official requires indeed great techniques, and Mr Yu is such a great master of it. I would recommend everyone who pursuing a career in governments get a copy of the book and learn from it. It is going to saving a lot of energy.

I cannot help feel frustrated by this point. I’m also a member of the society of writers, but how come there is such a huge gap between me and Mr Yu?

I don’t deserve the membership and it’s all my fault. From now on, I’ll never mention my membership again. I’m in such a low position compared to Mr. Yu, so I would be defying him even to be in a same society with him.

These poets deserve a new name and let’s call them ‘the School of Novcorona’. They have a wonderful capacity which they earn a living on. They make ‘red and swollen lumps touching as peach blossoms, and festering wounds comforting as cheese’.

These are truly capacities that would convince others. When the epidemic is yet going on, they already cannot wait to praise. When the epidemic has finnaly ended, what would they do out of their capacities? I dare not even imagine.

Fang Fang, a writer from Wuhan, wrote something like this a couple of days ago: “I would like to send my fellow writers from Hubei a reminder: you will be asked to write something of praise afterwards for sure. Please think twice, before you start, about who should you praise. If you would like to flatter, please at least save yourself some decency. I might be old in age, but my strength to criticise may never be old.”

She is yet too naive on this point. She thinks her words of a writer’s conscience would be enough to warn, yet ‘the School of Novcorona’ will roll over her like a street-car. Such a wonderful chance that would not even appear in one thousand years, how could they be willing to miss?

After the Wenchuan earthquake of 2008 which took so many lives, Wang Zhaoshan, vice chair of the Shandong Society of Writers wrote in the name of the victims: “I only wish there could be screens in front of my tomb, so that I could watch the Olympics and join the cheers. I would feel happy even as a ghost.” After that, Wang got a name as “Wang the Happy”.

It was also after the earthquake, Yu Qiuyu (a famous Chinese proser) also joined to write a prose called ‘persuading the survivors with tear’, which asked the survivors to keep their moved hearts instead of paying attention to the poorly constructed buildings. And he also got a name as “Yu in Tears”.

Look at Yu, who spared no effort in the epidemic! Let’s give him a name as well, otherwise it would be unfair. Now that he wrote a poem called Long Live the Sun of My Heart, let’s call him “Yu the Sun”⁴.

Yu the Sun, I’m proposing solemnly today that you take the position as the head of ‘the School of Novcorona’. Please take your responsibility to lead the poets.

And happy licking.

Notes

¹ Medical professionals in China always wear uniforms in the color of white, and therefore they are often called the white-clothed angels.

² This refers to the military personnels dispatched to assist the locals.

³ The three views are the views of the world, the value and the life. It is often used in China to refer to the basic beliefs of a person.

⁴ This is a pun, as in Chinese language, the words for “the sun” and “f*ck” are the same.